


Dirty Laundry

by Kunfetti



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, Pre-Kerberos Mission, pining!matt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-04
Updated: 2018-04-30
Packaged: 2019-01-29 05:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12624381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kunfetti/pseuds/Kunfetti
Summary: Matt meets his crush while doing laundry.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What are tenses?

Matt places his basket of dirty laundry down with a loud thump and a heavy sigh. The walk from his dorm room at the Garrison is normally pleasant and short but in the prime of summer, the heat really takes its toll.

 

For the third time, he’s reaching into his pocket to double check his quarters. He knows he’s being paranoid, but the thought of him being short completely embarrasses him. With just the right amount for two loads and a box of soap from the machine on the wall, he gets started.

 

He’s relieved that he’s _almost_ alone in the laundromat this afternoon, but the clerk pays him no mind as they lean back in their chair watching some sports game on the box TV. He’s glad but a little lonely.

 

Two quarters for the soap machine, he waits for the green light before he reaches down to grab the soap. Bending over to reach his hand under the flap, the bell over the door rings and he looks over.

 

And freezes.

 

Takashi Shirogane is standing there, his own basket of laundry under his arm. Their eyes meet before they look away quickly and Matt knows that his cheeks are flushing.

 

Matt tries to keep his calm facade on the outside but internally he’s losing his mind. He’s _alone_ with his commanding officer. The same commanding officer he’s admired since his acceptance at Garrison. The famed pilot whom Matt has had a crush on since the beginning of time! Ok, so maybe it wasn’t that extreme, but did it really matter?

 

The air in the laundromat thickens while they smile politely when they pass each other but pretend not be interested in what the other is doing.

 

The pressure to say something weighs on Matt with each passing second but what do you say to someone you have never really met before.

 

 _Hello_ _is normally a good start._

 

_No! That’s lame. Say something funny..._

 

“So, do you come here often?” He tries to sound cool but he thinks he might have sounded silly as he leans against the folding table. Takashi looks to him, wide-eyed with an eyebrow raised before turning to look behind him. Matt’s own eyes widen in surprise when Takashi turns around and points to himself, confusion on his face.

 

“Yeah you, there’s no one else here.” Damn, if that confused look wasn’t the most adorable thing he’s seen.

 

Takashi shrugs and looks away, “I guess about once a week.”

 

Matt blinks twice in shock while Takashi loads his own clothes into the free machine. That...went about as good as expected, he supposed. They fall into silence again, the hum of the machines spinning and the announcer on the TV shouting indistinctly in the background. Matt watches Takashi out of the corner of his eyes, aware of his every breath, wishing he wasn’t so lame. His sister, Katie, would be able to hold a conversation, he bets.

 

“Sooo...you’re a researcher, right? I’ve seen you around campus.”

 

Matt barely registers that Takashi is talking to him. Takashi knows he’s a researcher! There is no way, _Takashi Shirogane,_ has noticed him. Sure, Matt is at the top of his class but why would the top pilot in the aviation program know about a silly little research scientist.

 

“Uh, yeah. Well, research assistant. I still have a lot to learn.”

 

Takashi nods but doesn’t look away from Matt. His pulse quickens under his gaze, but he doesn’t look away either. Time passes along, and Matt is aware how this would look to anyone passing by, so he clears his throat and the moment breaks like glass. Matt thinks he notices Takashi blush, but that would be even sillier.

 

“You should apply for the Kerberos mission. I think your talents would be really helpful.”

 

Now, if this was anyone else, Matt would have laughed in their face, but this isn’t anyone else, so his heart stops beating instead.

 

He’s about to answer when his machine buzzes. He scratches his head and awkwardly points to it, a small uncomfortable laugh bubbling from his mouth. Takashi gets the message though and waves him along, turning back to his own machine.

 

He unloads his clothes into the cart and wheels it over to the dyers. Despite being on the other side of the folding table, he feels like there’s a chasm between them and he’s back to stealing glances over his shoulder. Takashi’s own machine buzzes a few moments later and he starts up another conversation.

 

“I’m Takashi, by the way, Takashi Shirogane.” His smile is warm and Matt is practically melting, summer heat be damned.

 

“I know who you are, I-I mean, um, I’m Matt Holt.” He thinks Takashi’s smile grows bigger but he can’t tell, so he removes his glasses and cleans them on the hem of his shirt.

 

“So, this is kinda embarrassing,” Matt looks up to find Takashi is rubbing the back of his neck but pauses when he catches Matt without his glasses on. Matt doesn’t notice his lapse and once he’s satisfied he removed all the streaks from the lenses, he puts them back on. He definitely doesn’t mistake the flush on Takashi’s cheeks this time but it is hot outside and the ceiling fan spins slow above them.

 

“Yeah?” He asks and Takashi shakes his head slightly to collect himself.

 

With an awkward laugh, Takashi looks away, “I don’t seem to have enough quarters for the dryer….”

 

“Oh, of course!” He may have been a little to abrupt in his answer but he wants to spare Takashi any lingering embarrassment he may be feeling. He grabs a few quarters—the rest of his laundry will have to wait until next week—and hands them out.

 

“Thanks, I’ll pay you back.” Takashi says and he reaches over the table. Matt immediately notices how warm his hand is when it brushes along his own and he is pretty sure he is grinning stupidly.

 

“Don’t worry about it.”

  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this was intended to be a one-shot but it's turning into something else because I have no self-control (plus, the ShiroxMatt tags are lacking). I have planned two more parts and that should catch us up to the beginning of the show.

Matt is walking back to his dorm room, staring intently at the papers in his hands. He’s just left Commander Iverson’s office and with just slight hesitation, he asked for the application for the Kerberos mission. With raised eyebrows, Iverson handed over the paperwork and told him to have it filled out and returned by the end of day to meet deadline otherwise consider his chances nonexistent. 

 

If he were being honest, he never thought about applying for the mission. He felt he still had so much to learn. His dad mentioned it to him several times but he blew him off with words of  _ I’m not ready  _ and  _ maybe next time _ . But when Takashi said he should apply, that his talents would be  _ helpful _ , well who was he to refute that logic. 

 

He’s passing the mess hall when he hears a familiar call from behind him.

 

“Matthew, what a coincidence.” 

 

Samuel Holt is a decorated Senior Science Officer at the Garrison and self proclaimed _ ‘dad joke’  _ extraordinaire. Matt loves him all the same and turns to greet his father but blanches when he sees his dad is not alone. Takashi is with him, a small smile on his face in greeting. He quietly mumbles a small  _ hey _ before looking away. 

 

“Hay is for horses, Matthew.” His father chuckles and Matt groans in embarrassment. Of course, why would his father hold back just because he was in the company of students? Takashi’s gentle smile grows and Matt doesn’t know if he’s laughing at him or with him. 

 

“I was just congratulating Shirogane here on his acceptance to pilot the Kerberos mission. Now all we need is our Research officer and we’ll be set to go.” His dad says with a congratulatory pat to Takashi’s shoulder and a hint of pride in his voice. 

 

Matt’s eyes fall on Takashi, who has a uncomfortable smirk on his face as he rubs the back of his neck. He isn’t--shy, is he?  _ Oh, it’s adorable. _

 

“There were a lot of other exceptional candidates--”

 

“Oh, you’re too humble for your own good. We’re making history and we need the best.”

 

_ The best? _ Matt’s eyes drop to the application, the conversation between Takashi and his dad falling into background noise. He wasn’t sure he is the best for the job. His dad is right, they need the best. This mission will be making history--a new era for the human race. Who knows what they will learn out there! There is no room for mistakes.  

 

He isn’t surprised that Takashi was chosen to pilot the mission, nor is he surprised that his father will be leading the operation. His dad is an expert at what he does and Takashi has been the Garrison’s Golden Boy TM  as long as he can remember. What did Matt have to offer?

 

“What is it that you have there son?” His father's voice rings through him and he looks up suddenly as Sam’s eyes fall to the papers Matt is holding. He’s about to make up some lie so he doesn’t have to admit he believed he had a chance at going on the mission but it’s Takashi that speaks up first. 

 

“It looks like the application for Kerberos. That’s great, Matt.” Takashi’s eyes are bright and this time his smile stretches wide. HIs attention is solely on Matt and there is a brief moment where Matt thinks he’s looking at him fondly. But that’s silly. Either way, he can’t help but return with a smile of his own as he starts to breathe easier. 

 

“Finally decided to take my advice, eh, Matty.” Sam claps Matt on the back before he turns back to Takashi, “I’ve been trying to tell my boy here to apply for weeks.”

 

Matt grimaces at them, his hands tightening around the papers in his grip but if anyone notices, they don’t mention it. 

 

“Maybe he just needed the right encouragement.” Takashi says with a knowing smile and Matt is positive if he were anything less than 30% mass he’d be a puddle on the floor. 

 

And maybe he doesn’t need to be such a debbie downer on himself. He’s a hard worker and he’s smart and isn’t this why he joined the Galaxy Garrison in the first place? To give mankind another leap towards a better future?

 

Sam’s phone starts to echo in the hallway and he excuses himself to answer it. Matt watches as he walks away before he realizes that he is once again alone with Takashi. He’s mentally trying to calm his nerves when he feels a hand on his shoulder, firm and warm. 

 

“Don’t worry,” Takashi says, looking into his eyes, “I believe in you.”

 

Matt’s heart is racing and his eyes widen. Takashi is  _ close _ , like, so close. But as soon as Matt has time to process the moment, it’s gone. Takashi pulls away, clearing his throat. 

 

“Thanks, Takashi.” Matt says quietly, in a little awe and a little surprise. His shoulder feels cold and he feels like he just ran a marathon but he can’t help but feel  _ good _ . 

 

“Please, call me Shiro. All my friends do, anyway.” Shiro chuckles and shrugs casually and Matt wonders vaguely if he is trying to brush away the moment they just shared. It doesn’t matter really, because Sam’s footsteps echo through the hallway, signaling his return. 

 

“Sorry Matt, looks like Shirogane and I have to go. If you have any questions with your application, let me know.” Sam nudges Shiro gently in the direction they were heading before running into him but as he walks by Matt, Sam ruffles his hair, “I’m proud of you.”

 

_ Please just strike me down  _ he’s thinking to himself and he can hear the sympathetic laugh coming from Shiro. He runs a hand through his hair, trying to at least put his unruly mane back into it’s normal out-of-place place when Shiro turns from where he’s walking beside Sam. 

 

He’s walking backwards a few steps when he calls out to Matt, “Good Luck.” 

 

Matt feels like his heart is beating in time to Takashi’s steps walking away from him and he wait’s until the pair is no longer in sight before he whispers to noone, “Thanks...Shiro.”


	3. Chapter 3

Matt’s nerves are buzzing. He feels like he’s had one too many energy drinks and just the right amount of sugar to feel his heart pounding in his chest despite only eating breakfast that morning--which was sadly absent of artificial sugars. He can’t really help it though. Earlier that morning Commander Iverson stopped him in the hallway and handed him a sealed envelope. He gave no hint as to what the results of his application were and, at first, Matt was disappointed. But as Iverson walked away, Matt could swear he saw his lips tilt up.

 

He had a fleeting thought to go see his father, as he was already likely to know if Matt had been accepted on the mission or not, but he hadn’t seen his dad since last week. He was busy preparing finalized details for the mission and probably hadn’t had a chance to seek him out. That was ok with Matt because his feet carried him exactly where he needed to go.

  
Shiro’s dorm room was just down the corridor from his own room. He desperately hoped Shiro was there and not in class or out doing whatever it is Shiro does in his downtime. The envelope burned in his hands, just begging to be opened and no matter what the results were, he wanted to share the moment with Shiro.

 

_Shiro._

 

It felt so _different_ calling Takashi by his nickname. It made Matt feel like they were on their way to becoming real friends. Shiro had started greeting him personally when they saw each other around the campus and a few times he even took it upon himself to sit next to Matt in the lecture hall.

 

Just thinking about the last time Shiro sat next to him still made his stomach flutter. Shiro had walked into the class, eyes grazing over the room until they spotted Matt sitting in the back. And Matt could have sworn --in fact, he’s positive Shiro’s smile reached his eyes. He couldn’t help it, he stared as Shiro made his way up the steps and took a seat next to him, his bag casually thrown down at his feet. They exchanged a small greeting before their professor started the lecture. Matt tried to focus on his notes but Shiro was so _close_ he could feel his body heat. And when Shiro leaned closer to ask if Matt had heard anything about his application yet, his heart stopped beating in his chest.

 

All he could do was stare down at the desk in front of him and shake his head no. He had no capacity for words. Matt knew his little crush on Shiro was becoming a big nuisance. It wasn’t that he hated his growing feelings for Shiro, it’s just that he was reminded of his outrageous crush at the most inconvenient times--like now when Shiro could probably hear how hard Matt’s heart was beating.

 

“Should be any day now,” Shiro whispered under the professor's voice at the head of the class. Matt just hummed his reply.

 

Now that he has had time to think on the situation he would have done so many things differently. Like maybe not be an obvious blushing virgin. Nah, he would have been _smooth_ and _cool_. Propped his arm up on his desk and looked Shiro up and down and say, “Baby, you must be tired, because you’ve been running through my mind all day.” Shiro would blush helplessly and when he wrapped his arm around Shiro’s shoulder, Shiro would hum his approval. Shiro's eyes would flutter as Matt gently took Shiro’s chin between his fingertips. They would stare longing at each other and when Shiro licks his lips, Matt’s eyes would dart to them, licking his own in response. He’d lean in slowly, inhaling Shiro’s breath as their lips touched— _OOMPH_!

 

Matt grimaced as he picked himself up off the floor. He was so lost in his daydream he wasn’t watching where he was going and walked right into the wall outside the corridor leading into the dorms. His saving grace is that only a handful of people are standing around chatting in the halls so at least he won’t be the laughing stock of the entire school, just those five people specifically.

 

“I’m fine- I’m okay.” He said out loud as he brushes himself off. The few lingering stares at him are heavy as he bends over to pick up the envelope, now slightly squished at the corners. He tries to smooth it out—and his pride—before continuing on his journey.

 

He keeps a sharp eye out for room 16-C, his heart beating in time with his steps and the envelope held tightly in his grasp.

 

He stops just outside the door and bites his lip. He can do this. It’s _just_ Shiro. Looking down at the envelope in his hands, he’s reminded why he was in such a rush to come here to begin with. His fist hovers for just a moment before he’s knocking firmly on the door.

 

Shiro opens the door a few moments later wearing his civvies-a NASA hoodie and jeans and Matt’s eyes widen not only at how good he looks in his casual clothes but at his totally vintage sweater.

 

“Matt—“

 

“—Is that an official NASA sweater? Dude, those are super hard to find!” Matt blurts out before catching himself. He can feel the rush flood from his toes to his face, the envelope temporarily forgotten. The air is still between them until Shiro clears his throat.

 

“Uh, yeah. You can find anything online if you try hard enough.” Shiro says with a shy smile and Matt own lips quirk up. He becomes lost in the moment, standing at Shiro’s door, smiling stupidly back at Shiro. It isn’t until Shiro moves out of the doorway that Matt breaks out of his stupor.

 

“Want to come in?”

 

“Yeah.” He says and he slowly walks into Shiro’s room. It's exactly what he expected and nothing like he thought it would be. It’s totally spotless, everything in its place. The books on the bookshelf above the desk were organized by size and color. There were a few papers laying on top of the desk, a book opened with a pencil caught in the spine. Matt silently hoped he didn’t interrupt Shiro from studying.

 

The bed was neatly made and there were a few pictures of Shiro and the black haired kid he’s seen Shiro hang out with along the shelf. He could also see tiny LED lights hung around, shining like starlight in the darkened corner.

 

“Sweet digs.” He said as he spun a miniature globe sitting on the desk with a finger, turning back to look at Shiro.

 

“I suppose. Perks of being an officer.” Shiro shrugged.

 

Perks were right. Matt’s room was half the size of Shiro’s and it lacked a window with a view of the desert mountains. The window was positioned in the room _just right_ so you’d be able to look out at night and see the stars in the sky. Matt traitorous thoughts wouldn’t stop picturing himself wrapped in Shiro’s arms, laying next to each other and looking out the window together.

 

That was not what he should be thinking about right now.

 

“Was there something you needed?” Shiro moved closer to Matt, hands in his pockets as he waited for Matt to respond. It wasn’t fair how good he looked.

 

“I got my acceptance letter today…” he said, holding the envelope up slightly so Shiro could see it.

 

“Really! What’s it say?” Shiro took a seat on the edge of his bed and Matt laughed at how excited he sounded.

 

“I haven’t opened it yet….I was kinda hoping…” Matt bit his lip as he held the envelope out to Shiro as an invitation.

 

Shiro pointer to himself with a surprised look on his face and Matt was reminded of that day at the Laundromat. “You want me to open it?”

 

When Shiro said it out loud he suddenly realized how silly he seemed. Was he wrong in thinking that Shiro would want to share this moment with him? Maybe he shouldn’t have been so impulsive to come running straight to Shiro. But his stupid crush was influencing his rational decision making!

 

“Um...you don’t have to. I shouldn’t have just rushed over without telling you first—.”

 

“—No!” Shiro stood up quickly as he shouted. They both froze at his sudden outburst. “I mean, I’d be happy to.”

 

Matt watched as Shiro looked away, cheeks red, but it was so endearing Matt handed the envelope to him with a smile, “OK.”

 

It took only a moment for Shiro to take the envelope and while he broke the seal, Matt turned the chair at Shiro’s desk and sat down, eagerly awaiting what Shiro was going to say next.

 

Matt watched as Shiro’s eyes moved along the page, his heart hammering and his lip worried between his teeth. What if they said no? Despite his reluctance to apply, he can’t say that he wouldn’t be disappointed. The chance to research and discover something new in the ice of Kerberos was a prospect that was too good to be true. They could discover new life, new resources! They’d return to earth as heroes!

 

No pressure or anything.

 

But if they said yes...then his newly discovered dreams would become a reality.

 

What was taking Shiro so long? Surely the letter couldn’t have been _that_ lengthy. But maybe he got denied and Shiro wasn’t sure how to deliver the bad news.

 

Just then, Shiro’s eyes flicked to his before they quickly looked away and Matt felt his heart sink. In slow motion, he watched as Shiro gently placed the envelope next to him and clasped his hands between his legs.

 

“Look, Matt—“ Matt stood up abruptly. Tears burning the corners of his eyes and embarrassment and shame choking him. Shiro had _believed_ in him!

 

“—I didn’t get accepted.”

 

“—You made the team.”

 

For what felt like the hundredth time that day, Matt’s emotions were all over the place. His disappointment slowly dissipated to be replaced with a sense of confusion before he was engulfed in disbelief.

 

“I—I made it?” The words had no meaning to him, maybe he said them wrong, but no, that wasn’t right, “I did it!”

 

Shiro stood and placed his hand on Matt’s shoulder and warmth flooded him, “You did it.” he confirmed and Matt started laughing.

 

“Holy Cobalt Tungsten!” He said as he slid his fingers through his hair. Matt hadn’t been this elated since he was actually accepted into the Garrison. In fact, when he had gotten his acceptance letter in the mail, he used it as an excuse to cheer up his sister Katie, encouraging her to keep her studies up. And with just as much enthusiasm Katie displayed in throwing herself into a big hug with Matt, Matt did the same to Shiro.

 

In just that single moment, Matt had become more intimately aware of Shiro than ever, his acceptance being pushed aside by how warm Shiro’s was against him. How he was engulfed in his scent, mostly from the sweater he wore but he could also smell a fleeting scent of soap on his skin. Hugging Shiro, wrapping his arms around his broad shoulder, made Matt feel safe. If only he could stay like this forever…

 

But Shiro was unresponsive in his arms and Matt was absolutely aware he had just overstepped boundaries. He briefly wondered if Shiro could hear his pounding heart. He pulled away awkwardly, lingering slowly as he willed lightning to strike him down.

 

“Uh...I’m sorry.” He tried but Shiro coughed and brought his hand to cover his mouth.

 

“Nah, it’s fine. I, um, I didn’t mind.” He said and even though he tried to hide it, Matt could see how flushed he was. He was sure his own face was as just as red.

 

Matt rubbed at his neck, a weak smile on his face. It felt nice being in Shiro’s arms but he hoped it didn’t make things awkward between them, especially since they’ll be spending a lot of time together in preparation for the mission and the long months in service. Not to mention, in the careful observation of his father, the Mission Commander.

 

Which reminded him, “I should, uh, go find my dad.” He said but made no real effort to move.

 

“Oh, yeah, of course.” Shiro said but also stayed put. The moment stretched on, amber eyes meeting steel gray while they smiled softly at each other. It was over too quickly. 

 

Shiro blinked and turned to get Matt’s papers, handing them out to him. He took them and Shiro walked the few steps to the door, opening it so Matt could leave.

 

“Thanks for everything, Shiro.” He said and Shiro winked at him.

 

“I knew you could do it.”

 

The door slid shut in front of his, the image of Shiro smiling sweetly at him burned into his mind. And that wink! It should be illegal for Shiro to be so unintentionally attractive. Matt turned and leaned against the door, in disbelief that he had hugged Shiro and that it had felt so  _good._ All the while unknowing that Shiro was on the other side of the door, his forehead against the cool metal as his fingers trailed slowly down its length. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took forever and a day, good news, there will be a part 5!

Matt’s muscles tremble and his side aches where Shiro has got in a lucky shot but he refuses to quit until he gets at least  _ one _ hit on Shiro. 

They have been training for a few hours, first running through drills and now they were practicing hand to hand combat. It’s strenuous work and his body screams at him to stop but he is determined, and besides, the view isn’t bad at all.

Shiro stands with his guard up, eyes narrow and waiting for Matt’s next move. The black tank he wears clings to his damp figure, showing off his arms. His bangs have been pushed to one side when Shiro had wiped his brow with his forearm. They stuck up oddly but Matt thinks it is too cute to say anything.

He takes a steadying breath and moves quickly into Shiro’s space. He throws a few low punches, easily deflected by Shiro and decides to try higher. With his next swing, Shiro easily grabs his wrist and pulls what can only be described as crazy ninja moves and has Matt flat on his face before he can blink.

He groans in defeat and grabs Shiro’s offered hand to help him up.

“Again.” Shiro says as he readies his stance but Matt just stands there with a lazy look on his face.

“I want to take a break.” He whines, shoulders sagging. He thought today would be the day he’d be able to finally beat Shiro at his own game, clearly, he was wrong.

"One more, come on, you almost had me that time.” Shiro encourages but Matt doesn’t want to hear it.

“Flattery will get you nowhere,” he bites back sarcastically but with no real malice, “Besides, it’s not like we’ll be fighting aliens in space.”

“We need to be prepared for anything,” Shiro says walking to the side of the training room and Matt tries not to watch the way his backside moves with each step. He grabs two bottles of water and tosses one to Matt as he walks back, “This is helping to build your endurance, not just your ability to punch aliens in the face.”

Matt just idly picks at the label on the bottle. He knows Shiro is right but Matt is the kind of person that trains his mind, not his body. It doesn’t help that Shiro has years of experience behind him while Matt has just a few weeks of  _ required physical training  _ for the Kerberos mission.

Shiro claps his hands loudly, drawing Matts attention.

“How about this? If you land a hit, I’ll treat you to lunch.” He says.

“You mean like a date?” He bites the inside of his cheek as Shiro’s eyes widen. The surprise is gone quickly, replaced with a smirk.

“Yeah, sure, like a date.”

Matt’s not sure when it happened but as Shiro and himself started to spend more time together training for the mission, there has been this weird insinuating back and forth between them. Matt wasn’t complaining. But he really didn’t know what to make of it. Surely, Shiro was just messing around and didn’t really mean any of it.

Either way, it’s enough to give Matt a spark of energy and he copies Shiro’s stance. He waits a few beats before he moves in again, arms swinging as his heart beats wildly. Shiro eventually goes from defensive to offensive and it forces Matt to take a few steps back and reassess.

If he could only break Shiro’s defense. He is smaller and more agile than Shiro, he had to work that to his advantage. An idea forms in his head, and it’s a long shot, but what does he have to lose?

He moves in quickly, aiming for a hit towards Shiro’s head. He anticipates it and blocks it easily, but it is enough for Matt to get close enough to him. There’s a second where they are close, really close, and Matt can see the way Shiro’s eyes change from focused to confused. He takes the opportunity, looking Shiro directly in the eye and winks.

Shiro blinks and Matt sucker punches him in the gut.

“Yes!” Matt cheers, in near disbelief that he actually managed to get Shiro but a pained groan kills his hype and he turns to find Shiro doubled over.

Dread fills his belly and he wants to throw up. He didn’t think he hit Shiro  _ that _ hard and that, honestly, Shiro’s muscles would block most of his attack.

He had never miscalculated so hard in his life.

“Oh my gosh, Shiro! I’m so sorry, are you ok?” Matt isn’t sure if Shiro has heard him. He’s braced himself on his knees and he can see how hard Shiro is panting. He cautiously walks over to him, ready to console him or help carry him to the Nurses office.

He has just a second to process Shiro moving quickly, a smug look on his face, before Matt’s back on the training mat.

“Pinned ya.” He says and Matt can feel his breath brush his cheeks.

Matt’s not sure what to process first. The fact that Shiro had tricked him, or the fact that time stopped because Shiro’s face was inches from his own.

Shiro was holding him down. His knees were on either side of his hips and his left arm held down Matt’s right hand.

Something  _ changes _ as he stares wide-eyed at Shiro above him. Suddenly, it isn’t about training anymore and he’s become aware only of Shiro’s body where it presses against his own.

They’re both panting from the exertion and the air between them is drying Matt’s lips. His unconsciously licks them and Shiro’s eyes flick down, watching intently, studying them for a moment before he looks away.

Shiro is up and off of him in the next second, leaving Matt a bit bewildered on the floor.

_ What just happened? _

Ever the gentleman, Shiro offers his hand to help Matt up. He takes it, searching for Shiro’s eyes but Shiro is looking the other way and when Matt is standing firm on his own two feet, he drops Matt’s hands as if burned.

Matt watches crestfallen as Shiro turns and leaves without so much as a goodbye.

Later that night, alone in his room, he’s pushed the incident with Shiro to the back burner and tries to focus on some samples the Garrison sent him to analyze. But no matter how he tries to concentrate, the look in Shiro’s eyes when he was under him is distracting. With a frustrated groan, he pushes away from his desk and leans back in his chair, spinning slowly and staring at the popcorn patterns on the ceiling.

“What do I do now…?” He asks no one. He’s nervous about seeing Shiro in training tomorrow. What if Shiro is angry with him for what happened? Or worse, what if he somehow knew Matt desperately wanted Shiro to kiss him? Of course, he knew that was impossible but his  _ little _ crush hadn’t disappeared like he had hoped it would. In fact, it only grew; into admiration, adoration, and affection.

Matt runs his fingers through his hair, gripping it tightly as he lets out a heavy sigh.

There’s a chime from his laptop and he looks over at his screen. Katie has sent a request for a video message. Glad for the distraction, he grabs his headphones and answers.

“Matt the brat! How are you doing?!” She says cheerfully, her face sputtering as the call buffers.

“Pidge, you’re as pleasant as ever.” And he hopes his eye roll is dramatic enough to be seen through the camera. He at least gets to see her pout at the use of her nickname.

“I told you not to call me that.” She whines and he just shrugs nonchalantly.

“Don’t dish it if you can’t take it.” He gets up to unplug his laptop and carries it over to his bed, where he bundles himself and his computer under the covers. He can tell Pidge was already under her own blanket. When they were younger they used to  _ live _ under blanket forts and now that he’s at the Garrison, that habit has evolved to just covering their heads and laptops under the covers. It makes talking feel more like home.

“So how’s the Garrison?” She asks and he can hear the curious sincerity in her tone. He hopes she’s keeping her studies up to apply next year.

“I'm tired,” he complains, “I’ve been spending a lot of time training for the mission.” He says as he leans against a pillow.

“That’s right…” She says with a knowing smile, “Shiro’s been helping you with that. How is he by the way?”

Matt’s stomach drops. How is he, indeed?

“Good, I guess?” And, wow, he didn’t mean for that to come out like a question. Now, Katie will get suspicious.

“Oh boy, what did you do?” The picture is grainy but Matt can tell she’s crossed her arms. Heaven forbid the Garrison were to increase their bandwidth.

“Why is it me that has to do something?” His fingers are twirling with the cord to his headphones and he’s watching the movement so he doesn’t have to look Katie in the eye.

“Because you’re a clumsy fool in love.”

He points his finger, ready to fight back, but the words die in his mouth. He blows a raspberry instead because it’s not like she’s  _ wrong. _

“I think I scared him off,” He says as he gestures his arms around him, “We were training and I sucker punched him—“

“Classic—“

“Yes, thank you Pidge! And he tackled me but—“

“Wait a second, he  _ tackled _ you?”

“Yeah, keep up,” he tells her exasperated, “Anyway, I was just laying there and he was sooo close but then he left and I haven’t seen him since.” He finishes his rant with a deep exhale, feeling a little better now that his woes were out in the open.

“You mean to tell me that Shiro was on top of you and you didn’t kiss him? Wasted opportunity, imo.”

“Did you just  _ say _ imo?”

“Just tell him.” She says easily, making a face as she picks at her nails.

“Wha—tell him what?”

“That you want to suck his face and touch his butt.” And despite the terrible picture on the screen, he can see the rise of her eyebrow and the telling look in her eye.

"Wow. You are, no help right now.” He says impassively.

“Seriously, just tell him how you feel and be done with it. Worse he can say is no.”

“No, the worse he can say is no then we have to spend months together in space.  _ With Dad _ !” He expresses with the appropriate amount of emphasis.

“No one said life was easy.” She says with a shrug.

“You’re like twelve, when did you become so insightful.” He says just to irritate her for her nonchalant attitude towards his very serious problem.

“I’m fourteen.” She deadpans.

He laughs. He’s missed his sister.

There’s a muffled voice in the background Matt can only assume is their mother. Pidge’s face disappears from view but returns after a minute.

“Hey, I’ve got to go but keep me updated.”

“Sure thing, say hi to Mom for me.”

He closes his laptop, plunging himself into darkness and rubs a hand along his face. Maybe Katie is right. Maybe he should tell Shiro how he feels. What did he have to lose besides his dignity and self-perseverance.  


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this is good, it’s late.

It’s been a week since what Matt has dubbed the Shiro incident. It’s been replaying in his mind over and over until he’s sure he’s convinced himself the whole problem was his fault. He’s only seen Shiro in passing with nothing much between them but a strained smile and an unsure wave hello on his part.

 

It’s driving Matt insane. And they are leaving for Kerberos in less than 36 hours. How are they supposed to work smoothly on 18-month mission when he and Shiro couldn’t even look at each other anymore.

 

He let out a long breath he could feel in his chest. Matt sat on one side of a long table, waiting for the final briefing for the mission to start. Since it was only his father, himself and Shiro leaving, the briefing would just be an overview of what their responsibilities would be, what type of samples to take, and what was expected upon their return to Earth. Nothing Matt hasn’t heard a thousand and one times by now. There were others in the room, people in charge of take off and communications between his father and the crew that would remain on Earth.

 

Matt didn’t particularly care about them as he sat with his head leaning on his hand while he drew doodles on his mission statement. Actually, he didn’t even look up from his paper until something heavy plopped down into the seat next to him. He glanced up quickly, but startled when he realized it was Shiro.

 

The strangled sound that came out of his mouth caused his ears to burn but Shiro just smiled gently at him like everything was fine between them.

 

Everything was most certainly not fine between them. He sat up straight and awkwardly arranged the remaining papers on his desk into a neat pile. He was acutely aware of Shiro next to him but out of the corner of his eye he could tell Shiro was the model of perfect examples.

 

He sat straight, eyes ahead, and ready to take notes on any information that might be new. In fact, besides his smile in greeting Shiro hadn’t even looked his way again.

 

It was irritating.

 

The lights dimmed and Commander Iverson and his father stood at the head of the room. They started talking about what this mission means to the people of Earth and how it would benefit humanity in the long run. It was the same spew they always said at the beginning of these meetings and his eyes dropped to the doodles in the corner of his paper. His fingers itched to start drawing again but he kept his behavior in check, not wanting to bother Shiro with his restlessness.

 

It’s while he’s looking down that he notices a piece of paper slide towards him. He looks over and Shiro is still looking straight ahead but casually taps his pencil against the paper. Matt’s brow crinkles as he looks down. It’s the same mission report Matt has but Shiro’s scratchy script is written in the margins. He takes a quick glance up ahead, to ensure the Commander hasn’t noticed his distraction before sliding the paper closer so he can read it.

 

I apologize about the other day.

 

Matt quickly looks over to Shiro, who’s watching him. It’s too dark to make out his features but he thinks Shiro smiles sincerely at him.

 

He looks back down at the paper and jots down his response before casually sliding it back. Shiro uses his arm to bring it closer to himself in a gesture that looks like he’s just moving to get more comfortable. Matt sees his frown before it’s formed on his lips.

 

It’s already forgotten.

 

As if. It’s only what Matt has been stressing about since it happened. He can still feel Shiro’s weight above him, his warm breath on his face, and Katie’s distant voice reminding him to just tell him already.

 

No way. Not anymore. He’d rather not die of embarrassment.

 

And Shiro is apologizing. Why? It’s not like ‘please kiss me’ was written all over his face. But that’s just the way Shiro is. Always the good guy. Always ready to take the high ground. The lie is worth it though. They were already going to be in close confines for over a year, there was no point in making that more awkward than it already was going to be.

 

Lost in his own melodrama, he doesn’t notice Shiro slide the paper back until it’s in his peripheral vision. He doesn’t look at Shiro again, instead pulling the sheet close and reading it.

 

Can we talk later?

 

He scribbles a quick sure before sliding it back, his father calling on him to go over the procedures for ice handling and storage.

 

Later turns out to be after dinner. Late enough for an occasional student to wander back from the mess hall to their dorm but early enough that the library is still open.

 

Shiro was whisked away after the meeting for some final pilot preparations or something, Matt wasn’t really sure. Before he left, he did managed to whisper Library, 1800.

 

Matt could still feel the intent in his eyes. Whatever it was.

 

Walking into the library, Matt didn’t notice Shiro at any of the study tables in the front room. He checked his watch and he may have ended up here early due to the fact he was dreading and anticipating the meeting simultaneously. If he happened to skip dinner to not upset his already nervous stomach, that was his business.

 

He walked slowly, aimlessly, around the different rows of books. Some catch his eye but they don’t hold his attention long enough to distract him from his thoughts of what Shiro might want to talk about. He checks the front entrance every so often, his heart beating rapidly as he waits. The anticipation is starting to get the best of him when Shiro finally does waltz through the double doors, panting slightly like he ran here and eyes searching.  

 

Matt moves out of his aisle when Shiro’s face falls, probably assuming Matt hasn’t shown. He waves silently and the smile that grows on Shiro’s face makes his heart flip. Shiro is all confidence as he walks over and before Matt can even say hello, Shiro is gently pulling him towards the back of the library.

 

“So we won’t be disturbed.” He says and that’s interesting. What could Shiro possibly have to say in the dark lit empty back corner of the library that he couldn’t say in the bright lights of the not that busy library lobby? Matt’s traterious brain supplies images of them making out like some shoujo manga.

 

Shiro doesn’t let go of Matt’s wrist until they’re in the back of the library and Shiro is just barely in his personal space. He looks around quickly, clearly looking for any wandering students and when he’s satisfied they’re alone, he turns back to Matt.

 

“Shiro, what’s goin—“

 

“—Just,” Shiro interrupts and uses his hand in a pacifying gesture before running it through his hair, “Just listen, ok?”

 

Shiro says it with such uncertainty that Matt can’t help but focus solely on him. He finally notices the crease in his forehead and when Shiro drags his hand across his cheek, he just looks tried. He wants to ask if Shiro’s ok. Is he having seconds thoughts about the mission? Did he get sick sometime between last week and today? Matt doesn’t know the answer to these questions. All he know is right now he wants to help his friend.

 

“I’ve been thinking a lot lately about things and I hope I’m making the right decision,” Shiro rubs the back of his neck with an exasperated sigh, “I think I was just to afraid to admit it.”

 

“What is it? Is it the mission? I’m sure my Dad can—“

 

“No, it’s not the mission,” Shiro interrupts, “Not really.” He shrugs.

 

Matt is even more confused now than before. Shiro isn’t making any sense and...has Shiro moved closer? Matt’s heart starts to race.

 

“I just...don’t think I can go on this mission feeling what I do without being honest with myself.”

 

“And…,” Matt swallows a lump in his throat, “What is it you’re feeling?” He whispers.

 

Instead of answering, Shiro takes another step towards Matt, crowding him against the wall. Shiro’s long fingers gently trace a long his jaw and even though Matt can barely feel it, his face is on fire where Shiro’s skin touches his.

 

He looks into Shiro’s eyes and he’s caught by how deep he falls into them. There’s something there, a desire Matt only dared to dream about and Matt forgets how to breathe.

 

“Can I kiss you?” Shiro asks but it’s just air along Matt’s lips. He slowly nods since his higher functions have completely checked out.

 

It’s a chaste kiss, just a touch of lips but it’s the best (and only) kiss Matt has ever had. Shiro lingers for a moment before lightly brushing Matt’s lips with his own, as if he were mapping them out. They’re warm and soft and a little wet, Matt is pretty sure he’s floating.

 

He wants to reach out to touch Shiro and he lifts his hand but he stops mid air. What if Shiro doesn’t want him to touch.

 

Shiro responds anyway, using his free hand to guide Matt’s to his shoulder before letting go and gripping Matt’s waist.

 

Shiro deepens the kiss, pressing against Matt’s in a way that has his knees going weak. That’s all it takes for Matt to snap out of his shock and kiss Shiro back with full force.

 

His hand finds Shiro’s neck and now he’s the one pushing against Shiro, trying to get as close as possible. And when he gives Shiro’s bottom lip a tentative lick with his tongue, Shiro hums and opens for him.

 

It’s desperate yet urgent, like they have both needed this like they need air to breathe. And maybe all along they have needed this, the final piece to their relationship.

 

Shiro pulls back first with a gasping breath. Matt chases after him, not ready to stop but at Shiro’s chuckle he opens his eyes—when did he even close them?

 

“Wow.” Is all Shiro says and heat floods Matt’s cheeks. Shiro is still looking at Matt, likes he drowning in his eyes and for a moment it’s just the two of them and this new element to their relationship.

 

“If you two are done making out, I need to borrow Shiro.”

 

Both boys jump at the sudden other person. Shiro spins around, cheeks now as red as Matt feels his own are.

 

“K-Keith, what are you? How did you know where to find me?” Shiro asks as he tries to decide what to do with his hands. Matt scoots behind Shiro to hide his own embarrassment at being caught.

 

“You only told me your plan to confess, oh I don’t know, like ten times yesterday,” Keith says unimpressed and Matt chokes on his breath, “I wouldn’t have bothered you if it wasn’t urgent.”

 

“Um, ok, yeah. I’ll, um, I’ll be right there.”

 

This seems to satisfy Keith but before he turns to leave he stares hard in Matt’s direction. Matt bites his lip and meets Keith stare with his own much less intense one. Keith smirks after that and leaves, but not before telling Shiro to hurry up.

 

Once he’s out of sight, Shiro turns back around, “I’m sorry about that.”

 

“It’s ok, um, probably for the best.” Matt says before he realizes it may have been the wrong thing to say. Shiro’s face drops.

 

“I—I mean,” He adds quickly, “I don’t think I would have stopped otherwise.” And holy cow, when did Matt Holt become so brave?

 

“Yeah, me either. I’ve been wanting to do that for a while.”

 

“You have?” And Matt can barely believe his ears. This is like, a dream come true. He discreetly pinches himself to check. Nope, not a dream.

 

“Yeah, I’ve had this thing for you for a while.” Shiro’s cheeks couldn’t possibly get any redder and Matt finds it just adorable. He can’t help but smile.

 

“Funny you should say that...” This is the perfect moment for Matt to go for debonnaire. To show Shiro what’s he’s really getting into. Except he never gets the chance because Keith is calling for Shiro again.

 

“I have to go.” Shiro says taking a reluctant step back.

 

“Wait, one more?” Might as well try his luck. It’s going to be a long trip.

 

Shiro smiles and takes Matt’s head into his hands, kissing him again. This one leaves Matt just as breathless.

 

“See you in the morning.”

 

Matt watches Shiro leave, falling back against the wall before giggling silly.

 

The next morning, Matt follows his dad into the ship, taking his place at Shiro’s right.

 

He settled in, belt buckled, eager to takeoff.

 

“Alright boys, lets make history.” His dad says and Matt looks over towards Shiro. They have a silent conversation between themselves. Matt smiles and he’s ready to take on Kerberos knowing Shiro is at his side

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you’ve made it this far let me just say Thank You for coming on this journey with me. Shiro and Matt hold a special place in my heart and man do I want them to be happy. HMU on tumblr if you want to talk (dare I?) Shatt

**Author's Note:**

> I'm pretty sure I will do more for this little snippet, when, I'm not sure...
> 
> but if you want to chat me up on [tumblr](http://kunfetti.tumblr.com), I'll be waiting xD


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